Life

So this picture doesn't really have much to do with what I am going to post about, but I really liked it.  Thats just my disclaimer. 

So I have been thinking again- I know some what amazing for me to be thinking. I have had so much go on the past few weeks. Not sure how i feel about all of it. 

The boy and I officially ended our dating relationship. I figured that this was probably coming seeing that we haven't been on a "date, date" in like 2 weeks. Even though i thought it was coming i don't think i was ready. I think the boy was my first true love. I know he was my first kiss, my first hand holding thing, my first feeling of love outside of my family.  Love is a funny thing, it feels good but can also cause heartache.  Right now im feeling the heartache it brings. The boy and i have an amazing friend relationship and I hope that remains because i do enjoy just being around him. 

 

The other change is not here but is coming. My little brother D. just sent his mission papers in. I have been counting down this day for along time but now that its here im kind of sad. He has really matured and become an amazing young man. Im so proud of the choices and decisions that he makes. He has awesome friends that are all leaving on missions as well. He is such an example to me and my 2 younger brothers. He will be missed! Ill let you know where he goes as soon as he gets his call.

My second youngest brother C. turned 16. Holy mother. Scary!! No actually he is a great driver. Where has 16 years gone? I remember the time he was born. My parents left in the middle of the night and my aunt came over. I remember waking up and being so excited when my aunt told me where the parentals were. He was such a cute baby. Blonde hair, blue eyes. We had a special bond from day one. We are super close to this day. I feel like i can tell him anything and he usually does the same. Happy Birthday C!!! Love ya to pieces. 

My grandparents basement flooded today. What a mess. They had 3 inches of standing water in the kitchen. The water spread to the family room, storage room, piano room, computer room, bathroom and the playroom. So yeah the whole basement just covered in water. Luckily all of the important "old stuff" was taken care of. They have so many treasures, im glad they are all safe and sound. They have a long road ahead of them to get back to "normal". Maybe I can help decorate down there when the time comes.

School starts in the fall. So this June i will be graduated from high school for 4 years. Wow time flies. I haven't gone to any college at all. I haven't had the desire to do so. I didn't know what i wanted to go into. I do now!!!! FINALLY. Im going to go into Interior Design. Everyone keeps telling me to go for it so alright im going for it!! Thats what im doing with my tax money is registering for classes. YAY!!!!

So i need some advice. There is this guy in my stake, who i think is pretty darn attractive. I have had a little thing for him for like a year. He is so handsome and so nice. I want to talk to him so bad. According to my crazy mom, she thinks that we are meant to be together. She says our names together and then goes oh that just sounds right ash. How can i talk to him? I am deathly shy. Like kill me shy. Any tips on how i can talk to him or what to say to make it less "weird"?  I know i am a dork, but please any advice would be helpful.

Thats pretty much life right now. Things are ok. I think im finally figuring somethings out and that is making life bearable. I have learned that asking for help is OK and doesn't make me less of a person. I have learned to ask for a priesthood blessing. Wow so helpful. Hope all is well with everyone!!