The Boy. It will be a year next month that he and have been on and off again dating. Why is that when he is ready for a relationship I am not and when i am ready he is not? Im not sure how much more of the up and down relationship thing with him i can take.
Do i care for the boy? You ask. Why yes, yes i do. I care for him very much. Not sure if these feelings i have for him are love, but it is a very deep caring thats for sure. He is so kind and caring oh and lets not forget handsome.
The boy has been gone for almost 2 weeks. He went home to visit some of his family. I didn't think that i would miss him, but oh geesh i have sure missed him. I miss not seeing him everyday at work, i miss not hearing his goofy laugh and seeing the "Roger Rabbit" smile he gives me.
He called me yesterday and we talked for about an hour (if you know me, you know i hate the phone). We talked about how life was going, what we had been up too. Just life in general. I have been struggling with somethings lately and the boy has been there for me. He has given me some great advice. He gives me an honest opinion on things, he gives me a guys point of view- which by the way is so screwed up sometimes!
The boy has the greatest blue eyes, that i just love to stare at. This boy has the deepest voice for a 23 year old. When i hear this voice it gives me butterflies. The boy gives the best hugs. This boy was my first kiss. Yes i know you are thinking wow Ash you are almost 22 and he was your first kiss? Yep i know lame, but 'tis true. This boy is so GREAT with little kids. My family loves this boy! Which makes it that much harder.
Is it a bad thing that i can see myself spending the rest of my life with this boy; when i don't know how he feels? The other question i ask is, should i tell him how i feel or just let my feelings stay at bay for now? The other thing that crosses my mind alot, is what if i tell him and it gets weird and ruin the amazing friendship that we have built? AH sometimes i just want to tell him hello I am here and i like you alot!!
Although, my feelings are somewhat scattered there is one thing i do know. The boy will be back today!!! After almost 2 weeks of just texting and a few phone calls , i get to pick him up from the airport and drive him to home. I hoping for a kiss on the cheek. If i get a kiss i won't charge him gas money. No kiss? Well then he is so paying me!
1 comments:
Hmmm, boys are so hard to read. I remember having "THE" conversation with my hubby. The one where "I" told him how "I" felt before he told me how he felt. It was THE hardest thing I ever had to do. It began somewhere along the lines of: "Where do you see things going with this relationship?" Commence peeing of the pants. For me, things worked out well. Good luck Ash. If anyone deserves to be happy it is you girl. Let me know how it goes. Hopefully he didn't have to pay you gas money.
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